


Courtship Woes

by Barbara_Lazuli



Series: Strange and Creepy, Unusual and Kooky [2]
Category: Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King, The Addams Family (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:29:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25225381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barbara_Lazuli/pseuds/Barbara_Lazuli
Summary: "Why do you seem so troubled, Wednesday?" Morticia interjects. "Is your pursuit not going well?""... Unfortunately.""Have you considered a romantic stroll through the family cemetery?" Gomez suggests. "I'm sure we have a spare coffin somewhere.""I'll help dig the hole!" Pugsley offers.
Relationships: Wednesday Addams/Lydia Deetz
Series: Strange and Creepy, Unusual and Kooky [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827526
Comments: 26
Kudos: 256





	Courtship Woes

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this is my sappiest fic yet. I'd say it's ironic to manage that with an Addams Family fic, but who am I kidding? The Addamses are sluts for romance!

Though Wednesday never looked forward to falling in love, she isn't completely opposed to the idea. She did give it a try once before, but Joel proved far too soft-hearted and simple for Wednesday's tastes. There's merit in a partner she can easily manipulate to her whims, sure, but she could just as easily do that to Pugsley, and she wouldn't even be obligated to kiss him. Tedious and boring aren't things she desired for the rest of her life.

Seeing her parents' boundless love for each other has shown Wednesday that perhaps romance wouldn't be such a terrible thing to live with. That it _shouldn't_. But no, Wednesday didn't necessarily _long_ for an "other half". Wednesday does fine as she is. The general idea of romance isn't something she desired.

Lydia Deetz, however, made Wednesday want to experience it. Specifically, experience it with her.

It's frustrating, how much she wants this. Even more so, that she's willing to do anything for Lydia's rare, sincere smile. It's a little humiliating. Wednesday doesn't hate it.

**** **** **** ****

"Father. How did you convince Mother to marry you?"

Gomez was so distracted by the question that he almost didn't dodge the dagger Pugsley threw. Almost.

"Dang it!" Pugsley says with disappointment.

"Well, I asked her to marry me," Gomez simply says as he uses the dagger to cut his dinner. "I've told you this story before, but I'll gladly recount it again!"

"No need," Wednesday says but her father goes on a spiel anyway. She ignores him and turns to Morticia. "Mother, why did you say yes?"

Morticia smiles. "Because I knew as soon as I saw him, that this is the man with whom I would want to spend my life." She shrugs, "And everything that comes next."

Wednesday sighs and leans back in her seat. That doesn't help her at all. Her mother isn't like Lydia, absolute cynic of affection and romance that she is. 

"What brought this on, darling?" Morticia asks.

Wednesday has weighed the pros and cons of admitting to her dilemma. In the end, she decided that, if she's successful, she will have to let her family know anyway, so just getting it over with is the best course of action.

Still. It doesn't mean Wednesday has to be enthusiastic about it.

"Im... falling in love."

Pugsley gasps, making him inhale his fork. Wednesday is reluctant to see her parents' reactions, so she takes comfort in the sight of her brother choking. Unfortunately, he does manage to cough it out. 

"Oh this is amazing!" Gomez proclaims after a silent moment of processing that information while Lurch picks up the almost ingested utensil. "Tell me, who is the unfortunate young man?"

"Lydia Deetz. You've met her."

"A lady this time! Interesting choice!"

"Before you give this one a heart attack, could you let me play with her?" Pugsley says. "Joel won't talk to me anymore."

"I told you, if you want your own play things, then go to school," Wednesday says. "There are plenty of idiots there. Birds of a feather and all that."

"How about at least one of the twins?" he bargains.

"No."

"Aw come on! Can't even spare one? They look the same anyway."

"They're disgustingly codependent. The ensuing depression of one losing the other would be inconvenient."

"Why do you seem so troubled, Wednesday?" Morticia interjects. "Is your pursuit not going well?"

"... Unfortunately."

"Have you considered a romantic stroll through the family cemetery?" Gomez suggests. "I'm sure we have a spare coffin somewhere."

"I'll help dig the hole!" Pugsley offers.

Wednesday taps her finger on the table. "No, Lydia isn't that kind of girl. Parker told me such things can be considered traumatizing for others."

Gomez and Pugsley moan in disappointment. "But that's part of the fun!" Pugsley says.

"Then what kind of girl _is_ she?" Morticia asks. "What would _she_ want?"

"That's it!" Gomez snaps his fingers. He jumps up the table, his feet flipping his plate and flinging the food to the floor. Lurch grunts at Kitty to take care of it. "Regardless of who she is, one must treat their woman like a _queen_."

Morticia nods.

"A goddess..." Gomez kneels in front of Morticia and kisses her knuckle. "Like your soul is bound to her, as is hers..."

"First anniversary gift," Morticia informs them.

"What Lydia wants..." Wednesday thoughtfully repeats. Socrates slithers out of his goblet. He wraps a tentacle around her arm in an attempt at comfort. "An octopus has it easy. They only need to fight competetion to the death. And possibly die wrapped in the limbs of the mate they win." She sighs. "A much simpler affair."

"You can still try that," Pugsley says.

"Yes!" Gomez approvingly points at his son. "Why, I still remember the first time I killed for your mother."

"Fifth anniversary gift," Morticia informs them again. 

"No. When I'm with Lydia, murder is far from my mind." Wednesday shrugs. "Unless that's what she wants, of course."

**** **** **** ****

Wednesday finds Lydia crouching on the grass a block away from their school, her beloved camera in hand. Taking adavantage of the opportunity, she tells Thing to let her out of the car and go on back home.

"Lydia."

"Give me a sec."

Wednesday complies and holds her tongue, but steps closer to see that she's taking pictures of a dead bird.

Kids walk by them leisurely since it's still early. A lot of them murmur. Wednesday glares at a particular boy who insults Lydia and he scurries away.

"Its wings are spread," Lydia murmurs as she clicks away. "Like it's still in the air." She lowers her camera, satisfied. "She's lucky she died in such a beautiful way. Hopefully she doesn't have baby birds to feed." Lydia looks around and spots the younger kids headed to the nearby middle school. "Maybe we should dispose of this. Curious kids always mess with these and get sick."

"Let me, then."

"Wait!" Lydia grabs Wednesday's wrist. " _You_ could get sick."

"Addamses don't get sick." As an afterthought, Wednesday adds, "Physically."

Lydia crosses her arms. "Well _I_ have a normal immune system. If you touch anything disgusting, I'm not letting you anywhere near me."

Wednesday mournfully sighs. "You always know how to manipulate me. Why must you make it so easy to fall for you?"

Lydia busies herself with picking up her bike from the grass, cheeks noticably pink. "Let's just... get to school." 

Fortunately, Lydia opts not to use her bike and leave Wednesday behind. As they wordlessly walk, Wednesday stares every now and then at the scant distance between their hands. It would be easy to take Lydia's in hers.

"I'm a little surprised," Lydia says. "It's been almost a month since that last sleepover. But you've never actually asked me out."

"I know when the odds are against me. No need to try when I know I'll be rejected."

"Are you giving up?"

Wednesday's brow twitches upward. "Are you disappointed?"

"Answer my question, darn it."

She smirks. "I'm going to pretend I didn't notice the deflection."

"A piss poor job you're doing there," Lydia drawls.

"I'm not giving up, don't worry." Wednesday hopes she isn't imagining the relief in Lydia's expression and body language. "I'm merely bidding my time, making sure I've charmed you enough to say 'Yes' when I've asked."

"I don't get it." Lydia stops walking and Wednesday does the same. "Why do you like me?"

"We might not get to our classes on time if you make me explain."

"Not like you care."

She's right, Wednesday doesn't. "You're incredibly smart. It's difficult to get anything past you. Scaring and intimidating you is near impossible. You have a morbid curiosity fit for an Addams, and a penchant for chaos and mischief that I adore. In spite of that, you also have a strong sense of justice, and a deep love for your family that I can empathize with."

Wednesday blinks, surprising even herself with what she's admitted.

"There's more," she continues. "Your smile, your laugh, your passion for photography... Being with you is... fun. But those aren't logical explanations. I can't quite verbalize my other reasons, at least not yet. I just know that I'm very fond of you."

Lydia looks like she's trying to read Wednesday. She doesn't understand why Lydia seems to find it hard to do so. She has just laid her feelings bare, nothing to read between the lines.

Then, slowly, miraculously, Lydia finally looks like she believes. Her brows scrunch together, her eyes lower to the cement, and her cheeks flush pink.

"Have I charmed you?" Wednesday asks.

Lydia looks up with a flustered glare. "So that was just lip service?"

"You were the one who fished for it," she points out. "But my words were sincere. I'd continue to shower you with compliments if you wish. You deserve it, in fact."

"Oh god." Lydia continues on a brisk walk, making Wednesday catch up to her. 

"I have something I want to ask, too."

"Yeah, go ahead," Lydia replies with a tired tone.

"When are you free? I'd like to invite you to tea and séance at our house."

Lydia snorts. "So finally got the nerve to ask me ou -- Did you say 'séance'?"

"Yes. If you want, I'd like to give you the opportunity to talk to your mother again." Wednesday carefully watches Lydia's expression change. "But of course. The answer is obvious."

**** **** **** **** 

Wednesday knows what Lydia wants. It's the one thing that can bring a genuine smile to her lips. The one thing that peels off her dispassionate façade whilst she talks about Her.

All Lydia wants is to be in the arms of her mother again. To spend another Halloween night traumatizing the people in their neighborhood with hyper-realistic costumes. To discuss the fascinatingly grim works of Edgar Alan Poe. To hear her voice, to chase away the loneliness her death left behind.

Lydia tried and failed. Dragging her back to the world of the living won't have the desired results. Lydia prematurely joining her mother isn't an option either. Wednesday won't let her do that so soon.

But there's one thing Wednesday can grant, if she's successful.

Lydia immediately agrees to come over later that day. The tea is ready and so is the family's crystal ball, but Wednesday has a feeling the latter won't be touched. This isn't just a casual call to the Netherworld for Granma and Granpa Frump.

Gomez is away with Uncle Fester today, but Morticia stayed to overlook the séance. Wednesday would prefer to be alone with Lydia, but she can't perform such rituals without her mother yet. 

"Is that normal tea?" Wednesday asks as her mother places their tea set on the table. 

"'Normal'?"

"The kind without the fun kick to it. Lydia says her body won't allow for it."

"Ah, yes. Parker friendly. Other people's bodies can be quite fragile." She points at the vial beside the sugar cubes. "Fortunately, I haven't added that yet."

They hold their séances ontop of a modest hill that overlooks their property, including Gate. Wednesday keeps an eye on it. Lydia is meant to arrive soon.

"Are you nervous?" Morticia asks.

Wednesday takes her eyes off Gate to look back at her mother. "Why would I be nervous?"

"You tell me, dear."

"I... want this to work for her. I want to be able to give this to her."

Morticia smiles and reaches for her hand. Wednesday is no longer at an age where she likes to be touched so much, but she allows this. She _is_ quite nervous.

It isn't long before they hear the unmistakable screech of metal as Gate opens up for a guest. Even from the hill, Wednesday can see Lydia grin and say something to Gate as she pedals on on her bike. Wednesday stands up, maybe a bit too eagerly, and makes her way down the hill to meet Lydia.

"Hey," Lydia greets with a nervous smile. She looks up, likely spotting Morticia. "Oh, I didn't know your mom would be with us."

Wednesday sighs. "I'm not allowed to perform a séance on my own yet." She glances at one of the nearby graves. "Wouldn't want to accidentally give an ancestor a rude awakening."

"Oh sure. Hate it when that happens."

"Shall we?"

Lydia swallows before nodding. She follows Wednesday up the hill.

"Lydia," Morticia says and gestures at one of the chairs for Lydia to sit. "Lovely to see you again."

"You too, Mrs. Addams."

"Just 'Morticia' is fine, dear. Tea?"

"Uh..."

"It's safe for you," Wednesday reassures her as she adds a few drops from the vial into her own cup. 

"Oh. Okay." After a quick sip, Lydia says, "So, um... Will I be able to see my mom when we do this?"

"Unfortunately, no," Morticia says. "The crystal will only let you communicate with her. If we can reach her."

"Right." Lydia takes a deep breath before letting it go. "Ok. I'm ready."

"Then let's all take each other's hands."

Wednesday and Lydia link hands with Morticia. Lydia hesitates with Wednesday, but eventually holds hers as well. To Wednesday's horror, Morticia's lips curl in amusement at the display.

But she does take mercy on her child and opt not to acknowledge it, getting right to the necessary incantations for the ritual to start. A cloud of smoke materializes within the crystal ball. Wednesday feels Lydia tighten her grip in anticipation.

"Wednesday, if you'd please."

Wednesday nods. "Emily Deetz. I am here with your daughter Lydia, who wishes to talk to you. If you could here us, please respond."

They wait, all eyes on the crystal, but nothing happens.

"Emily Deetz," Wednesday tries again. "Your daughter is here, and she wants to speak with you. Can you hear us?"

The crystal remains unresponsive, the smoke swirling within the crystal consistent. Wednesday chances a glance at Lydia and sees resigned defeat slowly cast over her face. Wednesday's jaw clenches.

"Emily Deetz." Desperation and frustration seeps out of Wednesday's usually controlled voice. "Please, if you can hear us..." Wednesday's eyes close, focusing harder than she ever had. "Lydia misses you dearly. I know that just one word from you would make her unbelievably happy. So please --"

Wednesday feels a hand gently squeeze her arm. She opens her eyes and sees Lydia with her saddest smile yet. But Wednesday still has Lydia's hand in hers. The other girl has let go of Morticia's, the séance has been interrupted.

"It's okay," Lydia says.

But it isn't. Wednesday turns to her mother. "Why didn't it work? It always worked."

Morticia sighs. "Mrs. Deetz must not be in the Netherworld. Lydia, you can see the dead, is that true?"

"Yes."

"But you never saw her ghost."

"... No, never."

"Then your mother must no longer be tied to this world," Morticia concludes. "Spirits here and in the Netherworld have things in this world that ties them down. Unfinished businesses." She waves a hand. "Or just ones who have dues to pay."

"So... It's a good thing that we can't reach mom," Lydia says. "She's moved on to a better place. It's a good thing."

Gently, Morticia says, "If that's how you want to look at it. You may not be able to contact her in this lifetime."

The hands on Wednesday tighten their hold before letting go. Resolutely, Lydia says, "It is a good thing. I'm happy for her."

Wednesday can feel her mother's eyes on her. She ignores her, eyes boring holes on the table and fists clenched on her lap.

"Death is never the end," Morticia says. "It's merely the next stage. But I understand your grief, Lydia. And it's okay to acknowledge it. I also lost my parents at a young age. Though us joining our departed love is inevitable, the separation until then is painful. We must be patient. Until then... we find other reasons to smile." She takes a sip from her cup. "I found tracking down the people responsible for my father and mother's demise quite satisfying. Not as much as meeting Gomez of course, but it brought joy nonetheless."

**** **** **** ****

Lydia stays a bit longer. It turns out, she and Morticia get along very well. Wednesday remains silent the whole time, refusing to look Lydia's way. When Lydia has finally decided to go home, she asks for Wednesday to walk her out, to which she numbly complies.

"Gee, I feel like you're more disappointed than I am," Lydia lightly says.

"I'm sure I'm not."

A sigh. "Yeah, I guess not. Wednesday."

"Mm."

A frustrated growl. Wednesday feels a hand grab her arm, making her stop in her tracks.

"Will you look at me?" Lydia demands, frustration evident in her voice. "I _hate_ it when people refuse to look at me."

That gets Wednesday to raise her eyes, only to look away again. "I didn't want to see your disappointment, Lydia. I made a mistake. I wanted to make you happy, but all I did was give you hope that I couldn't deliver." She scoffs. "I should've known better. Hope is quite a despicable thing, after all."

"But I _am_ happy."

Wednesday rolls her eyes. "You don't have to patronize me. I'm not Kayla."

"I'm not patronizing you either. When have I ever lied to make people feel better?"

Wednesday blinks. "Never." She finally meets Lydia's gaze. "You're brutally honest."

"Exactly."

"Then I don't understand."

"If that séance worked, and I still refused to go out with you, what would you do?"

This segue is frustrating, but Wednesday finds it in herself to be patient. "I would have expressed my frustration on some unfortunate soul. Or Pugsley."

Lydia presses her lips together. "Yeah, okay. But you wouldn't have made me feel guilty about it, would you?"

"Why would I?" Wednesday crosses her arms, offended. "Making you happy is what I want because of my _unfortunate_ feelings. Upsetting you is counterproductive."

Lydia is biting back a grin now. "That's why I'm happy. People don't give something without wanting something else in return. But you're not like that. Well. To me, at least. Not with things that matter." She takes one of Wednesday's hands in hers. "You tried. That's what counts. I'm happy because of that.

"Honestly, if that happened months ago, I would have been really pissed," Lydia admits. "But your mom's right. I need other people to love. And I do have that. I have my dad and Delia, and Adam and Barbara." She squeezes Wednesday's hand. "Even you, Parker, Kayla and Layla. So I'm fine. Okay?"

"... Okay."

To Wednesday's disappointment, Lydia lets go. Gate opens for them and Lydia mounts her bike. But she lingers, making Wednesday stare curiously.

"Do you... 'You wanna go for a ride?"

"Where would we go?"

"Nowhere. I just don't want to go home yet." Lydia scratches the back of her neck. "... And I want to spend more time with you."

Wednesday's eyes widen. Before she could even relish in Lydia's rare display of bashfulness, the other girl adds, "You were kind of out of it back there. It's a little awkward to say good bye just like that."

"Is this a date?"

Lydia gives her a look that screams "Seriously?!" Out loud, she flatly says, "If it's not, are you gonna refuse?"

"Of course not. I'm not an idiot." 

Lydia pats the backseat. "Then hop on!"

"Right now? But there's a slope," Wednesday points out but does as told anyway. She isn't going to delay an opportunity to hold Lydia.

Lydia grins maniacally. "I know."

**** **** **** *****

Wednesday is pretty good at reading people. It's why she hates deceptive frauds the most; she can easily tell when the deranged and vile coat themselves with the sickening sugar of self-righteousness. She prefers people proud of their true, horrible selves. 

She knew it when she met Margaux, and Debbie, and Bethany. Everyone has a little bit of crazy in them, really.

Lydia is sane, for the most part. But just because she's in control of herself doesn't mean she doesn't love the allure of the unusual and thrill of chaos.

"Life's just one shitty game," Lydia once said. "It totally sucks, but it can still be pretty fun."

One of Lydia's idea of fun comes in the form of riding down the hill from Wednesday's home at full speed. Wednesday hangs on to Lydia for dear life, her braids swaying against the wind. Lydia screams and laughs, making Wednesday question her earlier assessment of Lydia's sanity.

Wednesday used to do something similar when she was younger. The numerous slides that coil within the hidden chambers of their home were her and Pugsley's favorite place to play. But then time passed and the novelty of it wore off.

It really isn't that much different. But the sound of Lydia's laughter has Wednesday echoing her.

"Holy shit!" Lydia exclaims. She has calmed down now that they have passed the slope. "Wednesday Addams. Did I just hear you _giggle_?!" She briefly turns her head to steal a glance at Wednesday. "What the fuck, you did!"

"I can laugh. I'm not physically incapable of it."

"Well yeah, but that wasn't an _evil_ laugh! You barely even smile!"

Wednesday probably doesn't need to hold on to Lydia so tight anymore, but Lydia isn't complaining, so she doesn't loosen her hold. "Because there's often no reason to smile."

Lydia chuckles. "Yeah, I guess not." 

The ride doesn't last as long as Wednesday would have liked. Soon enough, Lydia is taking her back home. With the slope now at an incline, they can't ride the bike back up the hill.

"I can make my way back myself," Wednesday assures her. She doesn't want Lydia to needlessly climb up only to come down.

"I know you can take care of yourself," Lydia says. "It's whatever you run into I'm worried about."

There's something different about the way Lydia is looking at Wednesday right now. Wednesday has an inkling as to what it is, but fears it to only be wishful thinking. Just as she's about to just ask her, Lydia steps closer.

Wednesday could feel her heart beating out of her chest as Lydia leans closer. She closes her eyes, feeling soft lips against her cheek. The pressure disappears, but Lydia doesn't quite pull away. When Lydia speaks, it's with her usual teasing tone that Wednesday _knows_ is accompanied by her signature coy smile.

"I'd kiss you on the mouth, but I'm pretty sure you put poison in your tea a while ago."

Never has Wednesday been more disappointed in herself. "Drats."

When Lydia finally pulls away, she has the audacity to laugh at Wednesday. She points at her own tinted lips. "Kinda left a stain there. Oops."

Wednesday raises a hand to where her skin still buzzes. "So this _was_ a date."

Lydia bites her lip before eventually nodding. "Yeah."

**** **** **** ****

The next day, Lydia is the one who finds Wednesday by her locker.

"What the hell, Wednesday?"

"Lovely to see you too, Lydia."

Lydia points at Wednesday's cheek, where the mark her lipstick left still remains. "Why haven't you wiped that off?" 

Wednesday lifts her chin. "It's a badge of honor. I can't just 'wipe it off'," she utters those three words with the incredulity they deserve. "I patiently waited a long time for that kiss." She smirks. "And I enjoyed my teachers' discomfort. He couldn't make me erase it because the school allows make up and I am, technically, wearing make up."

Lydia drops her head into her hands. "Oh my god... Why do I like you?" she hisses. 

"I'm a catch."

"Wednesday. You don't need to do that when I can just kiss you again."

Wednesday blinks. Then skeptically raises a brow. "Do I have to wait another month for the next kiss?"

"... Probably not."

"Hm. Fine."

She reaches into her pocket for the hankerchief she always brings. You never know when you might need to wipe blood off yourself, her mother often said. Getting sloppily caught with incriminating evidence is always embarrassing.

Lydia sighs in relief when the mark is wiped off.

"There. When do I get my next kiss?"

Lydia rolls her eyes, but there's an undeniable smile on her face. It's one of the things Lydia does that reminds Wednesday that she indeed has a heart. One that could beat this fast, in fact.

Wednesday truly is doomed, in the best of ways.

"How about you take me on a date and we'll see if you deserve it?" Lydia says because she can never resist an opportunity to be cheeky.

Wednesday slams her locker shut. "I accept the challenge."

**Author's Note:**

> Wednesday is such a smooth operator. Gomez would be proud.


End file.
